The New Platoon Sgt.

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by Doc Dave Pfeifer

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After 8 1/2 months in the field I rotated to the rear. Officers and medics rotated faster than 11/b's, cause there were rear jobs for them, but not that many rear jobs for grunts. Often times grunts stayed out till almost their last day to deros.

The battalion DR. and 1MSC officer I had known for all those months had rotated home. We had gotten a new doc, an anesthesiologist, and a fat guy at that.

Shortly after I got into the rear we got a new plt sgt to replace our msc officer. He was a lifer E-7, about 40 and a big belly.

Well I was busy all the time. When I wasn't pulling sick call in the morning, I was sent out to start up firebases until the company and their medics came in to secure them. Every third or fourth nite, I had to do guard duty with the officer and the rto, doing sitreps allnite. In the day time I was the batalion sanitation inspector. I had to inspect the shitters, the pools of water and the messhall. Then once a month I had to type up a command health report to the Surgeon General on the condition of the troops. Every couple weeks we did medcap into the villes to treat the locals for all their medical problems. Twice I had to go on choppers at nite to insert mercenarys behind the lines. They came up with a rule that a medic had to accompany them to their debark point in case the chopper was shot down before that.

Well this new sfc in the medic rear was getting to be a real pain in the ass. Turns out he was going around to each of the first sgt's hooches to volunteer to go on patrols for recon outside sally.

So he comes up to me and says HE'S taking a patrol out with delta co. after dark, and he wants me to go along. I said "If you are going then they don't need me. Besides, I'm not volunteering for nuthin'! I'm short, and going home.

He says he can't go out with a squad by himself cause he has the wrong MOS.

"What is your MOS?" I asked him.

Turns out he's a FUCKING DENTAL HYGENIST ASST......!!!

"What makes you think you should be in charge of a bunch of medics when you don't even know what we do?"

He says he has the stripes and the time he can do whatever he wants and he'll order me to volunteer if he has to, so he can get some time in the field. Sonofabitch! I was hot and I never got along with that idiot again.

So that nite we went out in squad strenth to recon, and I tried to stay away form that asshole sgt. and to keep my mouth shut. He showed up with a 12gauge pump shotgun. (Do I have to say more?) During patrol we heard noises and dropped to the ground, all but the sgt of course. I had to pull him down. Turns out it was locals returning to their hooches an we passed on.

I finally couldn't hold it in anymore and I said, "WHAT IF WE HAD HIT THE SHIT SARGE? WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO FOR THESE GUYS? CLEAN THEIR FUCKING TEETH!?!"

After , a while the sgt had been up front [maybe to get away from me] when he announced we were lost. Jesus, what next?

Well, he called for a willie peter marking round and you can guess what happened. Yep, it popped right over our heads and we were all running and taking cover to keep from getting peppered with white phosphorous. I never went out again with him, and when ever he started to look like he was gonna ask again I just glared at him, and he never asked again.

Doc Dave
Medic, Vietnam