Reprieve with Regret and Guilt
by Ken Hornbeck
O
n a recon Walking rear security Women approached carrying rice basket on pole
between them New (cherry) told them to stop Women drew guns and aimed Machine gunner
pushed him (cherry) aside and fired Blood trail followed but could not not be found
Patrol circled for having after action review Old timers' counseling the actions of
the new guy Down on him for not shooting women No use in trying to keep us from
being compromised In a pre-mission brief they didn't tell you to shoot a woman Asked
me to do the job if it ever happed again Guy said he could do it if given another
chance Had to get out - we had been compromised No chopper until next morning
Next morning same guy noticed a tracker up on ridge trailing us Came to ambush us-
new guy got his chance, He shot the tracker but he wasn't completely dead when we
reached him A guy from Georgia (SGT) stood over the body and finished him off with
18 rounds in the head The party started; time to choose what you wanted off the body
Cherry who shot him got first choice, took NVA belt with star on it Some guys took
sandels, foodbag, warm fish and rice; others took ears, and took photos Posing with
the body I found and took a picture of his wife and kid out of his pocket-wouldn't
be going home to them. The night before, the cherry felt bad because he didn't kill
the women, he was criticized But the next day when he killed someone he got a three
day pass at China beach and a chance to go to sniper school We got together in the
rear for a beer, he said he felt small for screwing up, but when he got a kill on
the next day, he got all the perks and still feels like shit Lose/Lose situation for
him One day you are a fuck-up and the next you're a hero. Live with our guilt for
what we wish we did or didn't do; or did but wish we hadn't. He lived both in less
than day, He got a chance to make up for what he failed to do, When he did it, he
became a hero, He told me, he carries the guilt of both.
Ken Hornbeck
Delta 1/501